Good God

im not even fucking coherent half the time im writing this shit.

ok honestly im not proud of my behavior. do i have any regrets. HELL NO. cuz that shit was exactly what i wanted and needed. i actually want more but i know its just a better idea to refrain because feelings will get involoved.

first off. i dont want a boyfriend.

that is what ive decided.

i dont want to lean on anyone. i dont need anyone. the strongest person i know is myself. and thats it end of story.

everyone else is just a friend and im not going to think so fucking complicatedly like most girls do.

if shit happens it happens. then it'll happened. if a guy really loves me for who i am then he'll tell me. if he needs hints and doesnt have to balls to come straight out and tell me, he doesnt deserve a woman like me.

so ill leave it at that.

i dont think ive been this satisfied and felt this wonderful about being alone in a really long time. i trulty its because god is with me. when i really needed him he is there. im not super religious but i do believe in god and i know he's always with me.

*on a side note: i got THE most amazing 5 inch stilleto heels that have this crazy cut out design that im just going to wear the shit out of. i mean really how many people do you know that wear yellow shoes? but these are HOT. they added and extra platform in the front and and 2 cm in back stilleto so ill be like 5'8" when i wear them woooooo hoooooo!!!! (im actually only 5'2") and i got these amazing sheer summer dresses that are perfect for pairing with denim booty shorts and chunky belts. and those can be accessoricised with earrings and/or bracelets

i know im kind of lame but i couldnt really dress that wild at work. cuz i was an english teacher so dressed a little more conservatively and hid my tattoos the best i could but now IT ON. everyday is gonna be like a fashion show for me. i <3 getting in the morning soooo much. people are like why do you care so much about what you look like? and my answer is "why do you like to look like shit?" hahaa