Last night was fucking DRAMA.
First off I have feelings for Joon. Period. Now I know for a fact that he's the one that I would like to start dating slowly. But here's the thing, I know he had feelings for me before as well but a lot of things happened last night.
So it was a mutual friend Sean's birthday and we were all at a bar and no one wanted to go clubbing except me and Joon. So we were like "Fuck it. Let's roll!" So the two of us took off.
On the way there I asked Joon why he hooked me up with his co-worker for a one night stand. And he told me it's because I had texted "I need to have sex NOW." Which was absolutely true. But this dense motherfucker didn't get it. I meant I wanted to get with him. Gosh why are guys so dumb?
Anyway so I told him "I didn't even ask you to hook me up with anyone for a one night stand so why'd you do it?" And he told me "It seemed like I was asking indirectly so that's why he did it."
The sex was great, I don't even remember this kid's name and I don't two shits about him. And I totally fucking regret it. Because now when Joon sees him he's gonna have the visual that I slept with him. And I know how disgusting that is. Because if the situation was reversed I would be fucking repulsed.
So I told him "When I told you I needed to have sex, that's not what I meant." And he asked me "Then what did you mean?" And I wanted to scream "DUH! I wanted sleep with you, you idiot!"
Joon's not that stupid, and I think he knew where I was getting at. The conversation stopped there. We walked the rest of the way to the club in complete silence. It was awkward but it was like not a terrible awkwardness. Sorta like a "Ohh, hmmm" awkwardness.
At this time I was almost sober because I had only two gin and tonics (which is the only thing I drink) but I know Joon was pretty buzzed but I'm pretty sure his brain was still functioning properly and he knew what I was getting at.
So we got to the club and I encouraged him to go pursue girls and have a good time and if I needed him I'd call him since we both had our cell phones on us. But he insisted to stay with me which was very thoughtful of him.
So the night progressed and I had another gin and tonic (but it was huge) and a fucking disgusting shot of Jose Cuervo. Ugh. I think that's what fucked me up. Now mind you I am pretty small and I'm on a diet right now. Ok I'll admit I pretty much fasted all day i.e. did not have ANY food and the last meal I had was a light dinner Friday night. So I had basically not eaten for over 24 hours. It's because I want to lose 15 lbs. but I won't get into that right now.
Needless to say I got wasted really fast and was having so much fun. And I get pretty brazen when I'm drunk so I ditched the guys (a couple of Joon's friends were there as well) and went up on the DJ stage and danced.
So 30 minutes later I come back and Joon is totally flirting with this girt in a white shirt. On a scale from 1 to 10 she was a 7. Of course I was jealous but seriously she was no competition for me not even close. But I did my part as a wing-man like I always do for all my homies and I talked to her and told her what a great guy Joon is. I know this stepped up his game 10 fold.
I don't even know why I did it. So they continued to talk and I stood at a table nearby and watched Joon hit it off with her. And something in me just broke. I couldn't take it. So I went to the bathroom and I cried by myself. I know...what a fucking pussy. I am so much stronger than that but I don't know what got into me. The other girls in the bathroom were bringing me tissues and telling me not to cry it was actually very sweet. They were telling me how gorgeous I was and that I could walk out, and honestly that shit was true.
So I wiped my tears, adjusted my clothes, and got back out there. Now Joon was dancing with the girl in the white top in a really risque way and that's when I just got fucking pissed. I was mad dogging them with a death stare but no one noticed. I sort of wish someone did. Or maybe not, oh I don't fucking know.
So I went back to the stage to find a male model-type to make out with in front of Joon.
****TO BE CONTINUED...GOTTA RUN ERRANDS****