i broke things off with jonathan. i was struck with an incredible blow yesterday. i just can not be with someone like him. he lacks everything i need. and the desire to be with him is just obsolete now. i didnt give him an explanation perhaps that was unfair but i feel as if i have found clarity.

my father has had colon cancer for over a year now and has undergone treatment and we were hopeful but it has spread to his liver and possibly his lungs. luke is everything i want and so much more. he has been a rock for me. he knows an associate of my fathers physician and is doing everything in his power to help me. words cant describe how grateful i am to have luke in my life right now. he is literally my knight in shining armor.

emotionally luke is comforting me. and i never thought a man was capable of doing this for me. he is so attentive and whenever he gets a break from seeing a patient he has been calling and asking me how i am.

god works in mysterious ways. although i am undergoing through a traumatizing experience theres just an outpouring of support from my friends as well. and these arent even old friends. people are just so generous. and i feel so fortunate. i feel so undeserving and thankful.