Inclinations

i am inclined to be incredibly impulsive. im impatient, always get what i want, (ok maybe not everything but mostly everything), and am usually reasonable but can be emotional at times just like anybody else.

i decided that i need some space from my boyfriend. we moved way too fast. and i feel that we need to know what it feels like to miss each other. maybe its because his job as a stockbroker keeps him so busy and exhausted he cant spend as much time with me as we both want.

i dont work so i have a lot of leisure time. i get my nails done, get facials, massages, go shopping. i have lunch with the few girlfriends that i have. but most of the people i know are men, who i am trying to avoid. i end up spending my late nights with a glass of wine watching breakfast at tiffany's and pining for my boyfriend. i understand he cant come over every night and i dont even want that. but seeing him only twice a week is just not enough. sure he calls like 10 times a day. but talking on the phone just isnt enough.

i even considered breaking up with him. it would be hard to lose him. but i think after a few days i'd be alright. im going to LA in august for a month. maybe we'll take a break then. i guess i dont actually love him. i really thought i did when we first met but as time goes by its fizzling away.